


Awakenings

by buttsbeyondbutts



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Rey, Dreams and Nightmares, Fear, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, aro rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 22:53:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5684098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttsbeyondbutts/pseuds/buttsbeyondbutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn, Poe and Rey all wake up at various moments after the Star Killer is destroyed</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awakenings

“Exemplary work, FN 2187.” Captain Phasma’s voice rarely deviated from bored authority but he could tell she was proud. “The Resistance has been destroyed due to your information. You will be recognized by the supreme leader for this, FN 2187.”

 

_ That’s not my name… _ Finn couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think. The stormtrooper helmet  was too tight. He couldn’t see anything beyond the sea of identical soldiers of The New Order, saluting him, shouting his former designation. 

 

_ That’s not my name… this isn’t my life!  _ He broke from Phasma’s grip, stumbling away. His hands were too heavy. He could barely lift them to the helmet.

 

“What are you doing, FN 2187?” Phasma asked. He never heard her sound like that. Like she was laughing. 

 

“That’s not my name!” Finn tried to shout but the only sound that came through his filters was thick breath. He pushed up around the helmet but it wouldn’t move. It wouldn’t budge, like it was fused to his skin. 

 

“You can’t remove it, FN 2187,” Phasma said, “It’s part of you.”

 

_ Not anymore. Please, not anymore!  _ He pushed harder, trying to escape, unable to scream. The chants of the Stormtroopers echoed in his brain. FN 2187! FN 2187! FN 2187!

 

Then another voice, familiar, pained, shouting, “Finn! Finn, let go!”

 

Finn’s eyes fluttered open. Gone were Phasma, the stormtroopers, The New Order, replaced by softly beeping machines, distant conversation and Poe Dameron, trying to pry Finn’s fingers off his hand. He let go. 

 

“Stars…” Poe winced, stretching his fingers gingerly. He looked back at Finn and smiled, bright and unreal, like Finn hadn’t just been crushing his hand. “You’re awake.”

 

“What happened?” Finn said. He tried to sit up but a sudden pain in his ribs forced him back down. Poe took his hand again, worried. 

 

“Just relax, you’re fine,” he said in a purposefully even voice. “You blew up the Star Killer, buddy. You’re a hero.”

 

_ I didn’t betray them,  _ Finn let himself breathe deeply.  _ I don’t have to go back.  _ “Where’s Rey?”

 

Poe swallowed. “Rey’s fine. She- uh, she stayed as long as she could. She really wanted to see you wake up but it’s only a matter of time before Ren and the rest of The New Order regroup and start hunt her. She had to go after Skywalker while they were still scattered. She’s gonna be a jedi.”

 

“A jedi,” Finn repeated. It sounded… oddly fitting. If anyone was to be a Jedi, it was Rey. He would have liked to see her though. 

 

Poe had Finn’s hand sandwiched between his two, running rough fingers gently over his knuckles. He glanced up, through long black eyelashes. “You okay, Finn?”

 

“I’m in hospital.” That got a small smile from Poe but didn’t shut him up. 

 

“You seemed like you were having a pretty bad dream,” he said, “I mean… you didn’t move much but once you started squeezing on my hand.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.” Years of training told him the opposite. When other recruits had bad dreams, and there were plenty, they got reevaluated, reconditioned. Finn learned quickly to hide it, even in his subconscious. No thrashing, no screams, just a tightened fist. It worked fine until someone tried to hold his hand. 

 

“What was the dream?” Poe asked, still holding Finn’s hand.

 

“I was back in The New Order,”  _ Don’t ask anything else _ , he begged silently, glancing back to Poe to try and read his expression.  _ Let that be enough. Please. _

 

Poe’s fingers tightened just slightly. “You’re never going back there, Finn,” he promised. “You’re with us now.”

 

He nodded. Poe knelt down next to his cot and briefly pressed his lips to Finn’s knuckles. The gesture- a kiss, Finn realized- lasted only a minute before Poe was back on his feet, pulling a chair to sit closer. “I called the medic when you started squeezing. She might have a time waking up. I’ll stick around if that’s okay?”

 

Finn nodded again. He blinked. Poe seemed unaccountably bright in the dark room. “What time is it?”

 

“Late,” Poe smiled. “I’m uh- kind of invested in you, Finn.”

 

Finn smiled. He curled his fingers around Poe’s hand, careful not to squeeze too hard. 

 

***

Everything hurt. Poe couldn’t move. He lacked the strength to scream. 

 

_ This is wrong.  _ Not just because he hurt, because  _ This didn’t happen.  Finn saved me. Finn saved me. Rey saved him. We stopped them.  This is wrong.  _

 

Kylo Ren bent over him. Poe should have been able to feel his breath on the exposed, sweat soaked skin of his neck. Instead he felt nothing but cold. Ren had no breath. He wasn’t human enough for that.  Ben had no breath. 

 

_ No, Ben is dead, _ The voice of General Organa rang through his brain.  _ Ben is dead.  _

 

“Poe,” A new voice spoke. Not Ren’s, though Poe couldn’t tear his eyes from that black abyss. This voice was softer, warm as it said his name, “Poe Dameron.”

 

Poe opened his eyes, gasping like a drowning man. His fingers closed around something and it took him a minute to realize it was Finn’s arm. The younger man stared at him, brow furrowed, brown eyes bright and so blessedly human. “Are you alright, Poe?”

 

“I’m fine-” he stopped just as he sat up, about to let go of Finn’s life line. He could lie, easily. Finn would believe him, would let him go if Poe told him not to follow. 

 

Poe didn’t want to go. He was safe here, in the cramped quarters of the resistance. Here, tangled with Finn on a cot built for one, Poe was at peace. Until he closed his eyes. 

 

“No,” he said, “I’m not fine. I keep having that dream… about the Starkiller, before you found me.”

 

“Oh,” Finn nodded. He put his hand down on Poe’s arm, gently holding him. He stayed quiet for a few minutes. “It’s gone.”

 

_ He’s not _ , Poe thought but could not bring himself to say. Ben was gone but that faceless thing he’d become was still out there. He still roamed the stars, waiting to hurt them. He had hurt Rey and Poe. He nearly killed Finn. He nearly killed Finn. He nearly killed Finn.

 

Finn pulled him closer. He let go of Poe’s arm. His fingers brushed through Poe’s hair, finally taking hold as he kissed him. For a moment, everything went still inside Poe. The adrenaline disappeared the minute Finn’s lips touched his. He pushed closer, gripping Finn’s shoulders, brushing his bare chest with his own, desperate to be close as possible. Finn pressed his forehead to Poe’s and spoke again, his breath fluttering against Poe’s lips. 

 

“You’re crying.”

 

Poe blinked hard. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Finn said and kissed him again. “What can I do-”

 

“This,” Poe murmured. He breathed deep, trying to calm himself. Finn was there, staring at him. He was there. Rey saved him from Ren. Where ever she was, Poe sent a silent prayer of thanks to the future Jedi. Because Finn was there, next to him in bed,  waiting for further instruction. “Just this.”

Finn nodded. He pulled Poe down again so they laid side by side. Finn rubbed gently absent minded circles into his scalp while Poe just held on, arms curling over his lover’s shoulders until sleep found him again. 

 

***

Starships fell into the sands of Jakku. Bombs echoed through Rey’s mind, screams of people she couldn’t see, voices she couldn’t recognize crying out in anguish only to be silenced in one awful moment. She could see the flames, the dust and smoke but it felt far away. She couldn’t touch it, couldn’t help. 

 

_ I have to get home.  _ She couldn’t move. She pushed with her mind, calling on The Force around her, trying to bend with it enough to free herself. 

 

“Rey,” Skywalker’s voice came through, not as sound but as thought. “Wake up, Rey.”

 

Rey woke. Master Luke’s home was a cave, comfortable but a cave in any case. He kept the bare minimum required for survival on the ocean planet and nothing else. Rey slept on the floor, protected by her cloak and a few items hauled from the Millennium Falcon. She sat up, pulling the cloak around her. “Was it a vision,” she asked Luke, feeling his gaze on the back of her neck, “or just a dream?”

 

The Jedi Knight inhaled and exhaled irritatingly slow. Rey gritted her teeth and forced patience. Luke Skywalker never did anything without a deep breath. "Both perhaps. The future is forever changing. Right now your friends are in no greater danger than before. Reach out to them, if you need to know."

 

Rey nodded. Closing her eyes and breathing deep, she allowed the force to flow within her. Finn was easiest to find. His life felt brighter to her, somehow warmer. She felt it first on Jakku, though she hadn't recognized it. He was worried, a common state for Finn. Then, almost as soon as the feeling registered in her mind, Rey felt Finn's relief.

 

There was Poe Dameron. Luke said that some people were tied to each other, closer than others. Rey and Finn were tied to each other and Finn was tied to Poe. It did not take much to pull the strings coming from Finn to find Poe at the end. That was how Luke knew that Han Solo had died, before Rey even opened her mouth. The anguish of General Organa's loss, combined with the impact of Solo's murder broke even Luke's walls.

 

Rey hoped she never had to feel the loss of Finn or Poe like that.

 

“Do you want to leave?” Luke asked. “You can, if you need to see them.”

 

He always said that, whenever Rey so much as mentioned the resistance. She had to wonder if he was trying to get rid of her. 

 

“I need to finish my training,” Rey said, standing. “Let’s go.”

 

Luke stood. “It’s night.” He said. 

 

“You woke me up.”

 

Luke shrugged, smiling slightly. “Fair enough. Come then.”

  
Rey followed him from the cave. Training would help Finn and Poe, to say nothing of the galaxy, more than sleep would. Her dreams would stay dreams. She would keep them there. 

**Author's Note:**

> More character studies than actual stories. I am pretty pleased with the fear and the intertwining. 
> 
> Regarding Poe, he's only a few years older than Ben Solo, according to Wookipedia, and his mother and Leia were old friends. There's a pretty good chance he knew Ben before he became Kylo Ren, and of course if Poe knows you, you're his friend. 
> 
> Please review.


End file.
